Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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