is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
