ya dads aren't the best wingmen
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
