quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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