I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
