That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
