this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties