Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
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Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
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i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for