your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.