East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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