Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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