Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
