Pants 0. Shit 1.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sext me about skeletons
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
