Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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