I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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