I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
