You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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