So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
