Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
