He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
