Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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