Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just puked most of my soul out..
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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