Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
