I'm eating all of the evidence.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
