Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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