you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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