there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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