Already got asked if we're dating
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
