you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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