it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
