he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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