He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
