I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
