I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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