And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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