I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I have already put on my inside pants.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
