But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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