I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
