dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I want her autograph on my taint
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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