I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
After last night, I could never be a politician.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize