Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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