I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
