It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
