I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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