Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
