awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
