so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
