No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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