I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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