I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
