My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
