I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
