i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
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It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
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man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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