Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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