we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
