I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
