Kiss
Puke
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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