its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
