Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
