sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
