There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
