i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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