I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize